Humans Use Crazy Words

But Not All Humans Use Crazy Words

Helen Keller

(CC0) Helen Keller

Larry Neal Gowdy

Copyright ©2023 - May 04, 2023

Chick, chickadee, chicken, chicken little, plucked chicken, chicken fried steak, chickenhearted, chicken-out, chicken scratch; what the words mean, are what the speaker and listener want the words to mean for the next minute or so.

Is a chick a cute little baby bird, or a cute little adult human lady? Why do some men call the cute adult lady "baby"?

Is a chickadee a songbird, or is chickadee a slang term of affection — W.C. Fields saying" My little chickadee" — or does it refer to the 1940 movie "My Little Chickadee"? The meanings of words tattle-tale on your age.

Is a chicken a chicken, or is it brave? Why do boys say 'double dog dare you" when there are no dogs around? Why do the boys say '"chickennnnnn" if you are not brave enough to accept the dare? Will you be brave, or will you be chickenhearted and chicken-out?

Why does a chicken fried steak have no chicken? A chicken fried steak is breaded beef, but the breading is not bread. And why must the breadless chicken fried steak have to be paid for by bread from your wallet?

Most chicks grow up and become plucked chickens. Some chicks say "plucked chicken" means the same for both; lifeless self being consumed, and marriage: same thing.

Not to be ignored, other animals' names have also been given new meanings. Some of our ancestors raised goats, and some ancestors wore a groovy goat on their face, but, hopefully it was only your male ancestors. Most all animals' names have been twisted into monkey runs for the generations who used the slang.

Even the human animal's names have been turned around and twisted inside-out. In the olden days (way back around ten years ago — that's a long time for people under the age of nine), it was still proper English grammar to name male humans "he", and to name female humans "she". Oh, but today's social fad claims that it's prejudiced or something to give a gender pronoun, and, so, we now ought to name all humans "she". But isn't it prejudiced to use the wrong gender name? Ah, but, logic and smarts never apply to English, especially not to social fads. Soon, in future years we'll need to stop saying "she", and just say "it" (oops! The fad has already begun!). The following generation may more simplify that word, and use "it" for all things; "it-it-it-it-it-it-it". Yeah, we can already see the English language evolving to embrace the monkey language of "eek-eek-eek". But, for us to be politically correct today, then let's not say the bad male word "professor", but, rather, instead, we must use the socially acceptable term "schoolmarm". Today, cube Oxford University employees name males "she", and, so, to be polite, and to not be square, we ought to mirror their language, and to only address the mazda (LOL!) Oxford University employees as "schoolmarms".

In many people's opinion, Mark Twain is best known for his humor of poking fun at English words, and the people who say them. From Mark Twain's book "What Is Man", he wrote of young school children not knowing the definition of words:

"AMENABLE, anything that is mean.

ASSIDUITY, state of being an acid.

CAPILLARY, a little caterpillar.

CORNIFEROUS, rocks in which fossil corn is found.

EQUESTRIAN, one who asks questions.

EUCHARIST, one who plays euchre.

FRANCHISE, anything belonging to the French.

IDOLATER, a very idle person.

IRRIGATE, to make fun of.

MENDACIOUS, what can be mended.

MERCENARY, one who feels for another.

PARASITE, a kind of umbrella.

TENACIOUS, ten acres of land.

PLAGIARIST, a writer of plays.

You should take caution and be precarious."

Oh, but of all of Twain's great humor, none quite approached the tremendous hilarity of schoolmarms' inability to define words. Over two-thousand years ago, a clever man living in the China region — of whom today is well-known throughout the world, or at least well-known by the few people who have read his books — he wrote a little book about the differences between bright folks and dull folks. Within one paragraph, the famous man was speaking about people who use wrong words. The clever man inserted several words into a sentence in-between two other sentences that both had a logical progression towards a shared outcome. The clever man inferred that dull folks would read the words incorrectly, and he was right: all known English speaking schoolmarms who translated the clever man's book, they all wrote the wrong words. James Legge, Homer Dubs, and all of the other schoolmarms wrote the crazy words that the clever man said that dull folks would use.


From Helen Keller's book The World I Live In:

"The hand I know in life has the fullness of blood in its veins, and is elastic with spirit. How different dear Mr. Hutton's hand was from its dull, insensate image! To me the cast lacks the very form of the hand. Of the many casts in Mr. Hutton's collection I did not recognize any, not even my own. But a loving hand I never forget. I remember in my fingers the large hands of Bishop Brooks, brimful of tenderness and a strong man's joy. ...Mark Twain's hand is full of whimsies and the drollest humours, and while you hold it the drollery changes to sympathy and championship.

I am told that the words I have just written do not "describe" the hands of my friends, but merely endow them with the kindly human qualities which I know they possess, and which language conveys in abstract words. The criticism implies that I am not giving the primary truth of what I feel; but how otherwise do descriptions in books I read, written by men who can see, render the visible look of a face?"

Within my own personal experiences, I would have chosen Helen Keller to be my sole teacher throughout all of school. To my knowledge, she is one of the very few people who could actually describe what a word means. With a warm smile, I bet she would have scored amongst the highest on the SQ tests of mental cognition.


A clever man of ancient China, and a blind and deaf girl, both knew what words mean. Schoolmarms don't.

Why do people not self-strive to see better than a blind lady? Can the lip, get hip.